A Penny for Mommy's Thoughts Mommy Miscellaneous On Becoming a Better Mom

Another New Year

New year — new blog format it seems! I guess it’s been a while since my last post!  As much as I tried my hardest to write regularly, life got in the way. Doesn’t it always?

I will admit, man that last quarter of 2018 drove me to the ground. Everything had to happen at neck-breaking speed (literally). In the end, they were all good things and much got accomplished, but the juggling and time management of it all did send me towards…. wine (what else?).

We’re currently on a trip out of the country at the moment (and a lot of future posts I have mapped out will go into further detail), but let’s just say I’ve found some downtime now at our hotel now that Jamie is down with a cough. We opted to stay in and take it easy, so she is napping now while the husband tours Sam around on our last day.

Being away for three weeks has truly made me miss home; the predictability, the regularity of it all, and of course a little bit of the busyness that comes with it. I am hoping I will be “smarter” this new year about time management and commitments, but I suppose that remains to be seen. The irony of it is I keep harping about the same to Sam, and yet it is possibly a lesson I too have to learn in a different way.

I think I have to admit that there’s always going to be a lot to do. We are involved in so many things, it will always be an adventure, and it will always be tiring.

I suppose it’s just a matter of perspective. As a wise person recently told me — it’s because you’re capable of more.  I suppose that is a good perspective to have, to be able to do more because we can.

My little family ended the year with quite the adventure. And we greeted the new year with another adventure. As they say, the first day of the year sets the pace and tone for how the rest of the year will look like.

If it is truly any indication, then I suppose I know what kind of year I’m in for. At the end of the day, it is all good — the girls learn, they have fun. And I have to remember, it is because I can.

A Penny for Mommy's Thoughts Life in CA

Happy New Year, Blog

Why hello there, blogging world. 🙂  I don’t know if you remember me.  It’s been four months after all.

So much has happened since then, and a lot of it is still going, just one thing after another.  Time escapes me.  Sometimes I think — yes let’s sit and write, but then — something else needs my “urgent” attention.  Or, I fall asleep (okay, that’s not time that’s old age). 

As my friend Michelle says, we haven’t been able to get off the train.  Everything is fun, educational, exhausting and time-consuming all at once.  We are making memories and learning as we go.  And so much changes so quickly.

I realized it takes a lot of energy to inflate all 5 life bubbles.  It is a whole other ball game keeping them all equally inflated.  Even that is a lesson in itself.But six days into the new year, I finally find myself with some spare time (well really… there is a pile of unattended laundry staring me in the face) to write, even just a little bit.  And I have to admit, it’s a nice feeling to come back to this again.Sam had an exercise in school last year that I thought would be great to repeat this year, even for myself.

This is our second year to do this exercise.

I focus on the “1” — As you may have read in previous posts, I am not big on new year’s resolutions.  But hey, we all change even just a little bit right?  So maybe a regular post or update is the one thing to start — or re-start.  For whatever other purpose it serves, coming back to this space is something that makes me feel a little bit more like me, and that’s a good place to start the year.  Let’s see how far we can take this, this time around. :)Happy New Year to us all.  Onwards, 2017!

A Penny for Mommy's Thoughts Life in CA Mommy Miscellaneous

Change, 2015

I usually start every year with some lesson or resolution that I hope will carry me through the next 12 months.  I know I’m a little late this year with two weeks of January already gone.  The holidays have kept me pretty busy!

In the last three weeks we played host to our family from Manila and Canada.  And while all of it was fun, exciting, awesome and adventure-filled, I will admit that it was also physically exhausting (as most holiday experiences are, anywhere in the world).

A little preview of the crazy that was.
A little preview of the crazy that was.

We’re trying to get our routine back in place.  There are still a few hiccups, with Jamie only now recovering from her congestion and fever (hence a further delay into my quiet “me-time” moment).

Maybe it’s the exhaustion and the high, but with all the conversations, all the visitors that have come and gone, and all the discussions of things that are yet to come… I still feel a little unsettled.

It’s been 5 months and 4 days since we moved, and I’ve gotten compliments left and right as to how well we’ve settled and adjusted.  We’re ok; in fact we’re more than ok.  My husband is very much into his new role and it seems to suit him well.  He says he’s busy, but not stressed.  The girls have their school, after school activities, Disneyland, friends and play dates.  They love everything, including all the new discoveries we’ve made and continue to make.

And what about the mother, you ask?  To some extent I have adapted and adjusted to our new life as well.  Keeping things going on a daily basis is enough to occupy me and knock me out at the end of the day.  I do what I usually do during the day and at night (if I can stay awake) I work on the stuff that need my attention back home.  I know that I’m more comfortable running things day-to-day here too, if only for the nature of my personality.   But I’ve also had to absorb the emotions and unexplainable feelings that every big change has brought to us all, most especially for the girls.  I feel like it’s my role to keep things together and make every “change” or new occurrence as smooth a transition as possible.

On top of which, I’ve been thinking about what to do with myself.  My husband and I have been talking about finding something part time for me too (that deserves a blog post all on its own though!), amongst plans we have for this yearAll of that, coupled with everything that’s happening in Manila at the moment (the Pope’s visit) and my family moving into a new home), I can’t help but feel sometimes that I’m still neither here nor there.

Last night, my husband showed the girls some of our old You Tube videos.  We opened the very first video he’d published, the one of Sam and myself right after I’d given birth to her.  Whatever it was I was thinking and feeling, seeing the video and the caption “6 years ago” alongside my now 6-year old Sam just sent me to tears.

Taken minutes after Sam was born.
Taken minutes after Sam was born.

I was neither sad or happy — but maybe just overwhelmed.  Six years, two kids, one additional business, and three big moves.  All of this amongst so many other changes thrown into the mix — be they good, great, and life-changing — it feels like a lot.  Sam for one, has had four different schools in six years, and Jamie two (in all of her three years and 10 months of existence).  Just thinking of the big changes that may still come our way sends a little knot to my stomach.

Logically I know, I understand and I accept: change is good and inevitable.  There will be some that are really a part of our day-to-day life.  The kids alone are filled with so many little bumps and changes as they change and grow right before my very eyes.  In my head, I can ride that kind of roller coaster and take what comes my way.  That’s how I’m built after all.

Deep down inside though (beside the knot forming in my stomach), there’s that tiny voice that’s praying for a reprieve.  Enough with the big roller coasters for once, no matter how fun and exciting each twist and turn is.  Maybe, just maybe, this 2015, we can put a pause on all the big life-changing changes in our little family of four.  We already had our new year last August 12, 2014.  Maybe it’s time to just see this one through for a while.